Becoming a Better Person in Giving and Receiving Helps [Good Idea Series]

In this interesting article we will talk about how to become a better person in giving and receiving helps in our life. If we can give and receive helps in an easier way, we believe that our life will be happier and more enjoyable. We can use the knowledge we got from this article for our personal or work life.

Credit: 

The knowledge of this article is given by this best-selling book. Thank you so much for the author - Malcolm Gladwell.

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell

The Main Idea:

Then, let's read this interesting experiment taken from the book and take some positive lesson out of it ^^:
"Bystander Challenge Experiment" [1]
(An experiment which about "When people are in a group, responsibility for acting is diffused.")



Two New York City
psychologists — Bibb Latane of Columbia University and
John Darley of New York University — subsequently conducted
a series of studies to try to understand what they
dubbed the "bystander challenge". They staged/played emergencies
of one kind or another in different situations in order to see
who would come and help. (This is an experiment, friends ^^. So their intention is good and positive.)

What they found, surprisingly,
was that the one factor above all else that predicted helping
behavior was how many witnesses there were to the event.
They set up these two experiments:
1. They have a student actor alone in a room to play an epileptic act, and see how many people will help the student actor.
2. They seep out some smoke from under a doorway, and see how many people would report it.

In the first experiment, when there was just one person next door, listening, that person
rushed to the student's aid 85 percent of the time. But
when subjects thought that there were four others also
overhearing the seizure, they came to the student's aid only
31 percent of the time. In the second experiment, people who
saw smoke seeping out from under a doorway would report
it 75 percent of the time when they were on their own, but
the incident would be reported only 38 percent of the time
when they were in a group. When people are in a group, in
other words, responsibility for acting is diffused.

They
assume that someone else will make the call, or they assume
that because no one else is acting, the apparent challenge —
the seizure-like sounds from the other room, the smoke
from the door — isn't really a challenge.

What Are Some Positive Lessons That We Can Have From That Story?

1. For Giving a Help: Since we have already known the knowledge by now, giving a help to someone becomes easier. Thus if we see someone really in a need of help, let's help them without thinking too much eventough there are many people around. We will feel good about it and can inspire others to do the same. 
2. For Receiving a Help: Most of the time we will need a help or cooperation from other people. When we need a help or cooperation from more than one person, we may use this knowledge to ask for it in a more polite and sincere way.                                                Let say we want a help from our friends or teammates -- Jackson, Woody, and Jennifer -- through an email/sms. Instead of we email/sms them in a mass like "Hi Jackson, Woody and Jennifer, May you help me with this?",  you may email/sms them in a more personal way "Hi Jackson, May you help me with this?"; "Hi Woody, May you help me with this?"  and so forth. ( I think when we ask a help from someone specifically, it makes him/her feel more appreciated. And one more thing, we treat and respect them as a person very well.).

Mark Twain's Quote

Cheers.

Reference:
[1] Gladwell, Malcolm. "The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference". Chapter one, page 34-35.





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Bonus: What A Fun Thing! (For Math Lovers Only ^^ LOL)

Previoulsy, we have discussed it in Sociology's point of view. Now, we want to discuss it from Mathematics' Point of View. ^^  

Hypotesis: When we ask people for a help, it's better to ask them in a specific way.
Prove:
Let's Remember the story that you ask a help from Jackson, Woody and Jennifer.

First Method, you sms/email them in a mass way  "Hi Jackson, Woody and Jennifer, May you help me with this?"
 The probability of someone (Jackson/Woody/Jennifer) SAYS Yes to help you is 1/2 (because there are only two answers whether 'yes' or 'no').
The probability of someone (Jackson/Woody/Jennifer)  WANTS to help you is 1/3 (because there are three people in there).

So for example, The probabilty of Jackson WANTS to help you AND SAYS Yes to you is 1/3 x 1/2 = 1/6 (16%)
The Probability of Jackson and Woody WANTS to help you AND SAYS Yes to you is 1/3 x 1/2 x1/3 x 1/2 =  0.028 (2.8% even smaller hahahahaha).


Second Method, you sms/email them in a specific way "Hi Jackson, May you help me with this?"
 The probability of someone (in this case: Jackson) SAYS Yes to help you is 1/2 (because there are only two answers whether 'yes' or 'no').
The probability of someone (in this case: Jackson) WANTS to help you is 1 (because there is only one person in there).

So for example, The probabilty of Jackson WANTS to help you AND SAYS Yes to you is 1 x 1/2 = 1/2 (50%) ---> It's far higher compare to 16%, or approximately 3x times higher than first method with Jackson.


Thus from the mathematic's point of view, it is proven that when you ask for help it is better to ask to a specific person, one at a time.

Know Thyself: A Good Way to Know More of Yourself

Look at the tree and choose the one that is immediately most appealing to you. 

Don’t think about it too long, just choose, and find out what your choice says about your personality.

The results!

1. You are a generous and moral (not to confuse with moralizing) person. You always work on self-improvement. You are very ambitious and have very high standards. People might think that communicating with you is difficult, but for you, it isn't easy to be who you are. You work very hard but you are not in the least selfish. You work because you want to improve the world. You have a great capacity to love people until they hurt you. But even after they do. . . you keep loving. Very few people can appreciate everything you do as well as you deserve. 

2. You are a fun, honest person. You are very responsible and like taking care of others. You believe in putting in an honest day's work and accept many work-related responsibilities. You have a very good personality and people come to trust you easily. You are bright, witty and fast-thinking. You always have an interesting story to tell. 

3.You are a smart and thoughtful person. You are a great thinker. Your thoughts and ideas are the most important. You like to think about your theories and views alone. You are an introvert. You get along with those who likes to think and learn. You spend a lot of time, thinking about morality. You are trying to do what is right, even if the majority of society does not agree with you. 

4. You are perceptive and philosophical person. You are a unique, one soul of your kind. Next to you there's no one even slightly similar to you. You are intuitive and a bit quirky. You are often misunderstood, and it hurts you. You need personal space. Your creativity needs to be developed, it requires respect of others. You are a person who clearly sees the light and dark sides of life. You are very emotional. 

5. You are self-assured and in charge. You are very independent. Your guiding principle in life is 'I'll do it my way.'. You are very self-reliant and know how to stay strong for yourself and the people you love. You know exactly what you want and are not afraid of pursuing your dreams. The only thing you demand from people is honesty. You are strong enough to accept the truth. 

6. You are kind and sensitive. People relate to you very well. You have many friends and you love helping them. You have this warm and bright aura that makes people feel good when they are around you. Every day, you think about what you can do to improve yourself. You want to be interesting, insightful and unique. More than anybody else in the world, you need to love. You are even ready to love those who don't love you back. 

7. You are happy and unflappable. You are a very sensitive and understanding person. You are a great listener who know how to be non-judgmental. You believe that everybody has their own journey in life. You are open to new people and events. You are highly resistant to stress and rarely worry. Normally, you are very relaxed. You always manage to have a good time and never lose your way. 

8. You are charming and energetic. You are a fun person who knows hot to make people laugh. You live in a state of harmony with the universe. You are spontaneous and enthusiastic. You never say no to an adventure. Often, you end up surprising and even shocking people. But that's just how you are. . . You always remain true to yourself. You have many interests and if something proves of interest to you, you will not rest until you acquire a profound knowledge of this area. 

9. You are optimistic and lucky. You believe that life is a gift and you try to achieve as much as possible and put this gift to the best use possible. You are very proud of your achievements. You are ready to stick by the people you care about through thick and thin. You have a very healthy approach to life. The glass is (at least) half full for you. You use any opportunity to forgive, learn, and grow because you believe that life is too short to do otherwise.

Remarks:

The accuracy is 90-95%, right? hahaha

When you know yourself more, you can love yourself more.

Cheers,

Albert

Quotes Collection

There is Power in Your Words

Here's some quotes for you:
Life

"Never tell people about your success but tell people how to achieve it."

"If you want something, go for it. If you believe in something, stand for it."

People:

"Sometimes the best charity that you can give to people is knowledge and skill."

"If you have people working with you, teach them some life skills. As from now on and in the future they will work for themselves and the people they love."

"Celebrate the achievement of your people." 

Business:

"In selling, one important question you should ask yourself is: Why should people buy from you?"

"Treat your customer as if he/she will come to you again."

Cheers,

Albert